How many Archies are out there?
So many of us want connection, but then we get in our own way.
I just came back from walking Archie, my eight-year old, 20-pound little mutt who is a light in our lives, an adorable scruff of a dog who loves nothing more than to cuddle up and cover us in malodorous kisses.
Imagine this sweet thing, but with fur.
However.
When we take Archie on our daily walk around the block - mind you the walk Archie is dying to take, a walk he is falling all over himself with excitement to begin - the moment he exits the front door, he promptly greets every man, beast or blade of grass like they are his mortal enemy.
RUFF RUFF RUFF he screams at every passerby, straining at his leash, choking himself.
But it sounds less like RUFF RUFF RUFF and more like F-you! F-you! F-you!
All while looking something like this:
It’s just not pleasant.
Most folks just laugh at him. He’s looks so silly and harmless. Even the neighborhood dogs have taken to rolling their eyes at him, but I feel badly Archie, watching him strain to reach out to others in the only way he knows how: annoyingly and with zero social grace. He was three when we adopted him so I can’t begin to understand why he reacts to the world as he does.
Fortunately, this only happens when he’s on leash and we have people over to the house lots, so Archie gets plenty of socializing with them; when he’s off leash, he’s friendly and lovely with everyone. And of course, we love on him constantly (please don’t email me about training, we’ve tried everything) but it makes me wonder, how many “Archies” are out there?
Not just dog Archies, but people Archies. People who are out there trying to connect with the world and find themselves all alone in the corner of the cocktail party? Or clinging to the walls of the work social? Or sticking to the spinach dip at a mom’s meet up? These are the people equivalent of Archie straining at the leash: “I really, really want to connect with you but I’m all SUPER nervous about it and this is what it looks like, please see past it, will you?”
Sometimes our social anxieties (or leash anxiety, in Archie’s case) get in the way of us living our best lives. So, thinking for today: how can we better meet people where they are? How can we approach the Jack Jack at the office who seems gruff and grumpy, but maybe is craving - and needing - connection as deeply as anyone?
I myself can be on the shy side and have been the lucky recipient of a kind offer to join the “fun” table at the get together or come along for a coffee or lunch at work and it’s made all the difference. So I’m asking you: how do you set aside your own fears or simply make time in your busy day to take a moment to offer an invitation over, a seat (or a treat) to an Archie in your life?
Just call me Archie! But when I am not being Archie, I do try to reach out to those I suspect have the same shyness!
Training tip:
Nah, just kidding. I have an "Archie" - who is 55 pounds. I just prepare for him to be him and am grateful for the good things he brings to my life. As for people....well, I think the key is teaching yourself to be vulnerable, understanding when you are safe, and taking risk - whether it's jumping off feet first with your eyes squeezed shut or just saying, "hello." Nice article - thank you.